罗伯特富尔古姆
RobertFulghum
Thecardboardboxismarked“TheGoodStuff”。Theboxcontainsthoseoddsandendsofersonaltreasuresthathavesurvivedmanyboutsofclean-it-out-and-throw-it-awaythatseizemefromtimetotime。Athieflookingintotheboxwouldnottakeanything。Butifthehouseevercatchesonfire,theboxgoeswithmewhenIrun。
Oneofthekeesakesintheboxisasmallaerbag。Lunchsize。Thoughthetoissealedwithducttae,stalesandseveralaerclis,thereisaraggedriinonesidethroughwhichthecontentsmaybeseen。
Thisarticularlunchsackhasbeeninmycareformaybe14years。Butitreallybelongstomydaughter,Molly。Soonaftershecameofschoolage,shebecameanenthusiasticarticiantinackinglunchesforherself,herbrothersandme。Eachbaggotashareofsandwiches,ales,milkmoneyandsometimesanoteoratreat。Onemorning,Mollyhandedmetwobags。Oneregularlunchsackandtheonewiththeducttaeandstalesandaerclis。
“Whytwobags?”
“Theotheroneissomethingelse。”
“Whatsinit?”
“Justsomestuff-takeitwithyou。”Istuffedbothsacksintomybriefcase,kissedthechildandrushedoff。
Atmidday,whilehurriedlyscarfingdownmyreallunch,ItoreoenMollysbagandshookoutthecontents。Twohairribbons,threesmallstones,alasticdinosaur,aencilstub,atinyseashell,twoanimalcrackers,amarble,ausedlistick,asmalldoll,twochocolatekissesand13ennies。
Ismiled。Howcharming。Risingtohustleoff,Iswetthedeskcleanintothewastebasket-leftoverlunch,Mollysjunkandall。TherewasntanythinginthereIneeded。
ThateveningMollycametostandbesidemewhileIwasreadingtheaer。
“Wheresmybag?”
“Whatbag?”
“Youknow,theoneIgaveyouthismorning。”
“Ileftitattheoffice,why?”
“Iforgottoutthisnoteinit。”Shehandedoverthenote,“Besides,Iwantitback。”
“Why?”
“Thosearemythingsinthesack,Daddy,theonesIreallylike。Ithoughtyoumightliketolaywiththem,butnowIwantthemback。Youdidntlosethebag,didyou,Daddy?”Tearsuddledinhereyes。
“Oh,no。Ijustforgottobringithome,”Ilied,“Bringittomorrow。Okay?”
Asshehuggedmyneckwithrelief,Iunfoldedthenotethathadnotgottenintothesack,“Iloveyou,Daddy。”
Oh。Anduh-oh。
Ilookedlongatthefaceofmychild。
Mollyhadgivenmehertreasures。Allthata7-year-oldhelddear。Loveinaaersack。AndIhadmissedit。Notonlymissedit,buthadthrownitawaybecause“therewasntanythinginthereIneeded。”
ItwasntthefirstorthelasttimeIfeltmyDaddyermitwasabouttorunout。
Itwasalongtribacktotheoffice。Theilgrimageofaenitent。Iickeduthewastebasketandouredthecontentsonmydesk。Iwassortingitalloutwhenthejanitorcameintodohischores。
“Losesomething?”
“Yes,mymind。”
“Itsrobablyinthere,allright。Whatsitlooklike,andIllhelyoufindit。”Istartednottotellhim。ButIcouldntfeelanymoreofafoolthanIwasalreadyinfact,soItoldhim。
Hedidntlaugh。“Igotkids,too。”Sothebrotherhoodoffoolssearchedthetrashandfoundthejewels,andhesmiledatmeandIsmiledathim。
Afterwashingthemustardoffthedinosaurandsrayingthewholethingwithbreathfreshenertokillthesmellofonions,Icarefullysmoothedoutthewaddedballofbrownaerintoasemifunctionalbagandutthetreasuresinside。Icarriedithomegingerly,likeaninjuredkitten。Thenextevening,IreturnedittoMolly。Noquestionsasked,noexlanationsoffered。
AfterdinnerIaskedhertotellmeaboutthestuffinthesack,andsoshetookitalloutaieceatatimeandlacedtheobjectsinarowonthediningroomtable。Everythinghadastory,amemoryorwasattachedtodreamsandimaginaryfriends。Imanagedtosay,“Isee”verywiselyseveraltimes。And,asamatteroffact,Ididsee。
Tomysurrise,Mollygavethebagtomeonceagainseveraldayslater。Samerattybag。Samestuffinside。Ifeltforgiven。Andtrusted。Andloved。AndalittlemorecomfortablewearingthetitleofFather。Overseveralmonths,thebagwentwithmefromtimetotime。ItwasnevercleartomewhyIdidordidnotgetitonagivenday。
IntimeMollyturnedherattentiontootherthings-foundothertreasures,lostinterestinthegame,grewu。
Me?Iwasleftholdingthebag。Shegaveittomeonemorningandneveraskedforitsreturn。AndsoIhaveitstill。
Thewornaersackisthereinthebox。Leftfromatimewhenachildsaid,“Here-thisisthebestIvegot-takeit-itsyours。SuchasIhave,giveItothee。”
纸板箱上面写着“好东西”,箱子里有一些零碎的东西和私人宝贝。这个箱子经历了多次大扫除,却仍然被我保存了下来。小偷如果看看箱子,也不会带走里面的任何东西。但是如果房子着火了,我肯定会带着这只箱子跑出来。
箱子里有一个纪念品,是一个午餐袋大小的小纸袋。虽然袋子上面粘着胶带,钉着订书钉,别着一些回形针,但还是可以从侧面粗糙的裂缝中看到里面的东西。
这个特别的午餐袋我已经珍藏了大概14年了。实际上,它是我女儿莫莉的。她到了学龄后,就十分热衷于为自己、弟弟们还有我装午餐。每个袋子里有一份三明治、几个苹果和买牛奶的钱,有时还夹着一张字条或是一点非常好吃的东西。一天早上,莫莉递给我两个袋子,一个是平时的午餐袋,另一个粘着胶带,钉着订书钉,还别着一些回形针。
“为什么有两个袋子啊?”
“那个装的是其他东西。”
“什么呀?”
“就是一些东西——你带着吧。”我把两个袋子都装进公文包,亲了她一下,然后匆匆走了。
中午,我狼吞虎咽地吃完午餐后,撕开莫莉的袋子,把里面的东西倒出来:两根发带,三块小石头,一个塑料恐龙,一截铅笔,一个小贝壳,两块动物形状的小薄饼,一颗弹珠,一支用过的唇膏,一个小娃娃,两块心形巧克力和13美分。
我笑了,真可爱。我很快起身,清理了一下桌子,把上面的东西都扔进了废纸篓——没吃完的午餐和莫莉的那些东西,那些我都不需要。
那天晚上我看报的时候,莫莉过来站在我旁边。
“我的袋子呢?”
“什么袋子?”
“你知道的,就是我早上给你的那个。”