洛林.格雷

LorraineM.Gregoire

“Sheesh!Givemeafewointsforselfcontrol!”Isnaedatmycrankyhusband.Iwantedtostoatasortinggoodsstore“GoingOutofBusiness”saleweassedinthemall.“Theresnothingweneed，”hisusualgrumymalecomment.“It’salloverricedjunk.Iftheyhadanythinggoodtheywouldn’tbegoingoutofbusiness.”

“But，itssortinggoods，”Iwheedled.“couldbesomegooddealsforthegrandkids.And，youlikeboatsandfishingstuff.I’veutuwiththathotoofyour’dream-canoe‘stuckonthebathroommirrorforyearsnow.Maybeyou’denjoyjustlookingaround?”

“Areyoucrazy?”hiseyesgotfunnyandhesaidsomethinglike.“TheboatIwantistheSuremoNumero-Unoblah-blah.SoonasIfinishsavingu6000bucksforthatbabyI’mgoingtoorderrightfromthemanufacturer.CustoInsilver.Thisloserstorewouldn’tcarrysomethinglikeTHAT.AndImsurenotgoingnearthosesuckercrowds.”

“Youresodarnnegativeandboring!”Iretorted.“Ihaentolikecrowds.TheymakemefeellikeI’martofsomething.IromiseIwon’tbuyanythingbutI’mgoingtolookaroundforfunanyways.YougoforcoffeeandI’llmeetyoubackhereinhalfanhour.”

“Don’tmakeromisesyoucan’tkee，oldgirl.”Hechuckledinthatself-satisfied“IllbelieveitwhenIseeit”waythatalwaysgetsmeriled.“Iknowyouregoingtocomeoutoftherewithuselessjunk.Youalwaysdo.”

Hiswordsmadememad.Howdareheaccusemeofbeingfrivolous!Iridedmyselfonbeingawiseshoer.Ihadadarngoodnoseforbargainsandstretchedouroldageensionslikenobody’sbusiness.NowIhadamadon，that’sforsure.“Boy，Illshowhi”IromisedmyselfIwouldnotbuyadarnthing，nomatterwhat.Ha!IwouldntgiveMr.Know-It-Allsmarty-antsreasontogloat.

Isquaredmychinandmarchedintothecrowdedstore.Aislesandaislesofhockeyequiment，basketballs，golfclubs，exerciseequiment，fishinggear，boytoysgalorewerestrungwithhugeblaringsigns.CLOSINGOUTSALE-Uto80%OFF.NOREFUNDS.

UanddowntheaislesIstrolled，duckedanddodged，hummingtomyselfandenjoyingthefreneticenergyandexcitementofasale.

Allofasudden，there，atthebackofthestore，ingleamingsilver，fulloflifejackets，addlesandfishingstuff，sattheexactcanoeofmyhusbandsicture.Igasedandblinkedthreetimes.Yu.Itwasstillthere.TheSuremoNumero-Unoblah，blah.Myheartbeatwildly.Ielbowedmywaythroughthecrowds，scrambledoverjunkintheaislesanddarnednearfellintothecanoelookingforthericetag.

Thereitwasalittletattered，withthemanufacturerssuggestedretailriceat$6750lustaxcrossedoutandahandwrittenTOCLEAR$750ASIS.NORETURNS.Mustbeamistake.$6000off?Salesman.Ihadtotalktoasalesman.

Isottedayoungfellowwitha“Hi.ImMathew”tagtryingtohideoutfromthemobofbargainhunters.Iclutchedhissleeve.“Mathew.TellmeaboutthisElSuremocanoe.Whatswrongwithit?Whyisitonly$750？”

“Oh.There’snothingwrongwithit.It’sbrandnew.We’reclosingthestore.Thatisall.It’sonclearancelikeeverythingelse.Ithinkthatincludeslifejackets，addlesandabunchoffishinggear，too.Illgocheck.”

Afewminuteslaterhecamebackandsaid，“I’msorryma’aSomeonemadeamistakeonthesaletag.It’ssuosedtobe$4750forthewholeackage.IjusttalkedtomyDadwhoisrunningtheclose-out.Hesaiditwasworthmorethan$8000regularricesoit’sstillarealgooddeal.”

Ifelttearswelluinmyeyes.“Ohwell”，Isaidsadly.“Ofcourse，itwastoogoodtobetrue.Thisisexactlylikemyhusband’sdreamboat.IguessIstartedtodreammyselfwhenIsawthatricetag.He’sgoingtobe62yearsoldFriday.Hadtoretireearlyforhishealth.It’sbeenhardonjusttheensionbutthestubbornoldfoolhasbeensaving$10everyweekforyearstobuyonejustlikethis.Justanoldman’ssillydream，youknow.Alwayssaidhewantedtosendhisretirementoutfishinginacanoe，”myvoicetrailedoffandIturnedandwalkedaway.

IwasalreadyatthemalldoorwhenMathewcaughtuwithme.“Doyouhave$750lus$25fordeliveryandabitmorefortax，maam?”Igased.“Yes.Yes.ThatsaboutallIhave，”IsaidasIthoughtfleetinglyaboutthecataractsurgeryIwassavingufor.

“Wellthen，youjusthaveyourhusbandsittingonthefrontorchonFridaymorningaround10o’clocksohecanbetherewhenmyDadandIcometounloadhisnewboat.We’llevenutabowonitforhisbirthday.”

Istartedtocry.MyoldhandshookandIhadtosquintasIwroteoutmycheque.Mathewswallowedhard.

“Ma’aThere’ssomethingyoushouldknow.ThisstorewasmyGrandas.Heranitformorethan30years.Healwaysromisedtoretireoneday.Saidhewantedtosendtimerelaxingandoutfishinginacanoe.Heorderedthisone，custom，forhimselflastyearbut，well，justnevertookthetimeofftouseit.”

Heswallowedevenharder.“MyGrandadied，sudden-like，justlastweek.Hewasonly68yearsold.Ithinkhedbemightyhaythatyourhusbandwillgetthisherecanoe.MyDadthinkssotoo.Youjusthavetomakesureheusesitalot，okay?Promise?”

IhandedMathewaKleenexandwestoodtheretogether，quietlylostinourownthoughtsforamoment，blowingournoses.

“Iromise!”IsaidasIdashedofftolookformydearsweethusband.

“烦死了，为什么要约束自己！”我冲着脾气暴躁的丈夫嚷道。经过大卖场时，碰巧一家体育用品商店停业大甩卖，我想进去看看，里面有没有我们需要的东西。他用一贯暴躁的男人腔调抱怨道，“都是些昂贵的垃圾，要是有好东西，就不会停业了。”

“但是，我想孩子们会喜欢这里的体育用品，”我极力劝说他，“况且，那些小船、钓鱼用品之类的东西，你也喜欢。要不，这么多年，卫生间的镜子上怎么一直都贴着你那幅梦想之舟的图片呢？我可是看够了。也许你正想进去看看呢！”

“你疯了吗？”他用戏弄的眼神看着我，说道：“我想要的可是巴拉-巴拉一等小舟，一旦我攒够了6000美元，我就会直接去厂家那儿订购一艘银光闪闪的小船。这种即将停业的小店不会有那种货色，我可不想拼命挤进去上当受骗。”

“你简直不可理喻且无趣！”我反驳道。“我偏偏喜欢凑热闹，我觉得这让我不至于无所事事。我保证不买东西，只是逛着玩玩，你去喝会儿咖啡，半小时后我来找你。”

“做不到就不要发誓，老伴。”他得意地笑着，好像心里在说“等着瞧吧”，他总是这样激我，“我知道你准会买些没用的东西回来。你一向如此。”

他的话令我极度气恼。他竟敢说我草率行事！我自认为自己从来都是理性购物。我向来很会讨价还价，从不乱花我们的养老金，可现在，我真是生气到家了，“好吧，老兄，我倒要让你看看。”我暗下决心，不管有什么好东西，我绝不买回家。哈！我可不会把笑柄留给这个自以为是、自作聪明的家伙。

我下定决心，于是走进拥挤的商店。商店的过道里摆满了曲棍球、排球、高尔夫球和健身器材、渔具以及儿童玩具等，旁边写着醒目的标语：停业大甩卖，2折优惠，已售商品，概不退还。

我一边在过道里逛来逛去，一边又提防着那挤来挤去的购物者。我嘴里哼着小调，情绪高昂，全身心地享受着逛街的乐趣。

突然，在商店的后门，一个银光闪闪的东西吸引了我的注意，那正是我丈夫照片上的那只独木舟，里面放着救生衣、船桨、渔具。我屏住呼吸，眨了几下眼睛。啊，的的确确就在那儿，巴拉-巴拉一等小舟。我的心顿时激动起来。我奋力挤开拥挤的人群，跌跌撞撞地跨过过道里杂七杂八的东西，中间还差点跌进那只独木舟里，我急不可待地去找价格牌。

那张破烂的价格牌上标着，厂家建议零售价：6750美元，另加税价，上面打了一个大大的叉叉，旁边加上手写的字体，清仓价：750美元，售出不退。少了6000美元？一定是搞错了。我得去问一下售货员。