不要害怕失败 dnt fear faire(1 / 2)

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Manycareerexertstoutfailureasthecastoroilofsuccess.Theideaisnttoflingyourselfintocertaindisasterinordertobemysticallyrewardedwithtriumh.Rather,itsasimlerecognitionthateolewhowillinglyriskfailureandlearnfromlosshavethebestchanceofsucceedingatwhatevertheytry.

Oh,youvehadminorreversesinschoolorlove,butyouhaventfailedmeaningfully.Neverfear,saysAmitaiEtzioni,rofessorofsocioeconomicsatGeorgeWashingtonUniversity:“Everyonegetsachance.Noonelivesafailure-rooflifeforever.”

Failureiseasytorecognize.“Itusuallyinvolveslossofmoney,self-esteemorstatus,”saysCaroleHyatt,co-authorofWhenSmartPeoleFail.Attheveryleast,itissimlynotgettingwhatyouwant.

Notthatrationaleoleshouldwishforcalamity,saysRabbiHaroldKushner,authorofWhenBadThingsHaentoGoodPeole,Butastiffdoseofmisfortuneisoftenaainfullyeffectivetutor.It“teachesyousomethingaboutyourstrengthandacquaintsyouwithyourlimitations.”notesKushner.“Thatsanimortantartofmaturity.”

Peolewhorofitfromlossarethekindoffootsoldiersbusinessleadersseek,“Continuoussuccessbuildsarroganceandcomlacency,”saysmultibillionaireindustrialistH.RossPerot.“Iwanteolewholovethebattlefield,eolewillingtogotothewar”.Thatincludesmakinghonestmistakes.Unsuccessfuleole,headds,instinctivelyavoidrisksevenwhenasmartgamblemightayoff.“Youlearnagreatdealmorefromwhatdoesntworkthanfromwhatdoes.”Failure,hesays,ismerelythecostofseekingnewchallenge.

Ifthethoughtoffoulinguaralyzesyou,hereareseveralhelfulsuggestions:

1.Stousingthe“F”word.

Highachievers,rarelyreferto“failure,”aloadedwordsuggestingaersonaldeadend.Theyrefer“glitch”“bollix”or“coursecorrection.”

2.Donttakeitersonally.

Whenthingsgosour,doyouinstinctivelylabelyourselfaloser?Thelanguageyouusetodescribeyourselfcanbecomeaowerfulreality.Reeatedlycallingyourselfanunemloyedsalesersonnotonlylabelsyouasoutofwork—synonymouswithfailureinoursociety—itconsidersyourselfsomeone“withotions”.Thoseoinionsincludetakingclassestodevelonewskillsorbravelystrikingoutonanothercareer.

3.Bereared.

Helinsulateyourselfbymaingacatastrohelan.Askyourself:Whatistheworstthatcanhaen?Imagininglossofjoborsousecanforceyoutoclearlyconsiderracticalalternatives.Doyouhaveenoughinsuranceandcashreservestocarryyouthroughadifficulteriod?Doyouhavetalentsthatcouldbringinanincomeifyouremloyerhandedyouainksli?KeeinmindthattheChineseideogramfor“crisis”consistsofthecharactersforboth“danger”and“oortunity.”

4.Learntofailintelligently.

JackMatson,aUniversityofHoustonrofessor,develoedacoursehisstudentsdubbed“Failure101”.Matsonhadhisclassbuildice-cream-stickmock-usofroductsnoonewouldbuy.“Theydesignedhamsterhottubsandkitestoflyinhurricanes,”saysMatson.

Theideaswereridiculous,butonceMatsonsstudentsequatedfailurewithinnovationinsteadofdefeat,theyfeltfreetotryanything.Sincemoststudentshadatleastfivefailuresbeforefindingtheirbusinessniche,theylearnednottotakefailureasthelastword,saysMatson.“Theylearnedtoreloadandgetreadytoshootagain.”

5.Neversaydie.

EarlysHarrisonburg,constructioncomanywentbellyuin1975.Thenonly25,Earlyborrowedonhishomeratherthandeclarebankrutcy.Hecontinuedtoworkinconstruction,tryingtomastertheintricaciesofmanagement.In1982,he“gotnervyenough”toborrowmoretostarthisownbusinessagain,havingbuiltasolidreutationwithbanksforgettingthroughdifficulttimes.

Earlyexandedhisnewconstructionbusinesscautiously.Hetookcollegecoursesinbusinessadministration.By1988,EarlyscomanymadeInc.magazineslistofthe500fastest-growingrivatelyownedcomanies.

Earlyisnotcomlacent.Memoriesofhardtimeshaunthi“Icantaffordtogetarrogantaboutsuccess,”hesays,“SoImalwaystryingtoimrovemybusiness.”

许多职业专家将失败鼓吹为“成功的润滑油”。这种说法并不是让你为了获得神秘的胜利,而先将自己推向某个灾难的边缘。这仅仅是那些成功人士对失败的一种认识。他们能够欣然接受失败,并从失败中懂得:无论尝试什么,都是成功的最好机会。

噢,你在学校或爱情上也许遇到过一些小的挫折,但是这样的失败是毫无意义的。乔治·华盛顿大学的社会经济学教授阿米塔伊·埃茨奥尼说:“永远不要害怕,人人都有一次机会,没有谁会一生都失败。”

意识到失败是很容易的事。《当聪明的人失败时》一书的合著者卡罗莱·海厄特说:“通常,失败会伴随着金钱、自尊或身份地位的损失而出现。”至少,失败的结果是不能得到你想要的。

《当不幸降临在好人身上时》的作者罗比·哈罗德·库沙尔说,并不是说理智的人应该盼望灾难的降临,但是巨大的挫折往往是痛苦的深刻教训。它“能让你知道自己的长处,了解自己的短处”。库沙尔写道:“经历挫折是成长过程中的重要一课。”

从失败中汲取教训的人才是企业领导青睐的对象。拥有亿万资产的实业家H.罗斯·佩罗特说:“不断的成功会助长自大、自满之情。我想要那些喜欢战场,愿意斗争的人才。”这其中包括犯诚实的错误。H.罗斯·佩罗特又补充说:“失败者本能地避开冒险,即使是面对形势较好的投机机会时也是如此。你从失败中学到的东西,要比从成功中学到的东西多得多。”他说:“失败仅仅是在寻找新的挑战时所付出的代价。”

如果害怕失败而让你举步维艰,这里有几条有益的建议:

1.停止使用“失败”一词

有较高成就的人很少提到“失败”二字,因为使用这个沉重的词说明这个人无法再继续发展。他们更喜欢“小麻烦”“改正方针”等词。

2.不要因失败而沮丧

当事情进展不顺利时,你是否本能地为自己贴上了“失败者”的标签?你评价自己的语言可以变成一种有力的现实。一次又一次地称自己是位尚未被雇用的售货员,而不应说自己失业了——也就是你在社会生活中的失败——这样说,你就可以认为自己是“拥有选择权”的人。你可以选择参加学习班来培养新的技能,或者勇敢地选择从事另一个行业。

3.作好准备

规划一个灾难计划来帮助你自己在灾难降临时不会受到影响。问问你自己,会发生的最糟糕的事情是什么?设想一下失去工作或配偶的情形,会让你清晰地考虑现实的选择。你有足够的保险或存款来使你渡过困难时期吗?如果你的老板解雇了你,你的才能会为你带来收入吗?请记住,汉字中“危机”一词的词义包含两方面:“危险”与“机遇”。